June 29, 2017

How do you like to be wooed, ladies?

An article by Vinita Kinra (@VinitaKinra)

Love by nature is a complex sentiment, but what further complicates things is how the fairer sex (sorry guys, Valentine’s Day is a female-only holiday!) prefers to be swept off their feet. The question remains: would you ladies like to be charmed by the professional in the field who has read ample literature on the do’s and don’ts of wooing and dating skills, or are you more in home turf with the simple, old-fashioned romantic who shows up with a single stem of the “What’s in a name flower”?

Whatever your inclination may be, even the rustic candidate should secure a mandatory minimum pass mark in the generally accepted etiquette of making women feel special. It’s a welcome change to be a simpleton, but don’t butt into the door even if you are rushed to answer nature’s call. Hold the door for your lady love and smile. It’s hard, but it will pay off. As well, throttle the urge to answer your cell phone when you’re in mid conversation with her. Even if it’s your dad on the other end, panicking about his car you drove away without permission—just chill. If you took the call and sounded sissy, you wouldn’t have to steal his car again, anyway, because she would have walked out on you by then. Many books will rant about fresh breath mints and dress codes, but my advice is simple—be yourself. Confidence is key in making women sit up and take notice, and if you’ve been avoiding collection calls from your credit card company for past due payments, pay the bill first before you date her. You may not have any money to foot the restaurant bill after, but it’s time you chose between a functional credit card and a might-be girlfriend.Diamond

When it comes to dating, it’s a woman’s world. She might have to stress over make-up and clothing choices—not to mention footwear and accessories— but when it comes to really make an impression, it’s the muscular man that gets all sweaty. He doesn’t want to ask too many questions for fear of being intrusive or over talkative, but staying quiet labels him a boring introvert who lacks self-confidence and conversation skills.

Don’t waste time reading star sign predictions about how your relationship is turning out, or solve puzzles or quizzes on whether your man is deeply in love with you or faking it. Just trust your instincts. Be respectful of his needs, even if that means giving him alone time when he is going through a hard phase, instead of pestering him to share his emotional overload in the name of “rushing to his rescue”. Respect is key in a mutually rewarding relationship and preserves its longevity. Sometimes, a little bit of distance goes a long way in strengthening bonds between romantically linked individuals. Its then that each partner realizes how much they miss the other. Don’t trust friends or aides when they counsel you—unsolicited and free of charge—that he is keeping his distance because he has grown out of love with you. Nobody knows your man and the intensity of your relationship better than you. Why then would you allow anyone else to pass judgements or poison your mind about a man they hardly know or care about? Always remember—your heart never lies.

Vinita Kinra is a Toronto-based author, editor, speaker and activist, best known for her short story collection, Pavitra in Paris, launched to critical acclaim in 2013. 

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