December 11, 2017

Tips to survive a long-distance relationship

An article by Vinita Kinra (@VinitaKinra)

Arc-De-Triomphe,-ParisRelationships have never been simple, and modern day stresses end up complicating them even further. Frictions occur among couples spending every day of their lives together, so it’s only reasonable to expect that long-distance relationships will come at a hefty cost. Not to fret. Social media revolution ensures that romantically linked couples connect with each other in a way inconceivable in the good old days. Keep the fire raging even if you are separated geographically by looking at your situation as a glass half-full instead of half-empty. Your better half will automatically feel bonded to you as distance makes the hearts grow fonder:

Focus on your education or career: Make the most of your loneliness by befriending continuous education that can propel you higher up the ladder to success. Remember, you have fewer distractions, and that is a blessing if you are working towards a designation or aiming at a promotion that requires you to upgrade your skills.

Don’t become a couch potato or get into a depression: It is fairly easy for lonely people to stock up their fridge and park themselves in front of the idiot box with bowls of junk food. Make a conscious effort to derive comfort from “healthy options” rather than “comfort food.” It’s not a sin to catch up on movies you’ve missed while focusing on your life goals; however, don’t let this become an addiction or dependency at any cost.

Make sure to communicate regularly with your loved one: Needless to say, the most unsavory concomitant of long-distance relationships is insecurity. This can be weeded out effectively by regularly touching base with each other without giving too much importance to who called last. Cherish the time you get together, whether on the phone or Skype, by reiterating your love towards your partner. This goes a long way to erase any emotional imbalance or feelings of dejection any one of you may be facing.

Give life to your hobby: Was there something artistic you were always passionate about, but never had the opportunity or time to pursue? Dig out old paint brushes or a discarded camera or even an old diary you used to own back in the days painting or photography or writing carried you away on wings of imagination. You will only thank yourself you did this because creativity is food for soul.

Make a conscious effort not to get attracted: Long-distance relationships are like litmus tests. You have to be respectful about your situation and the continuing love you feel towards your partner who may be miles away, but always in your heart. Restrain from giving an impression to single people that you are available or lonely or both. This may need conditioning, but is not impossible.

Try to work on a deadline: The ultimate goal is to get back and start living together, so discuss openly with your partner as to when this might reasonably be possible. Discussing helps and having an end date to physical separation makes the time go faster as you begin to count down to celebration day for the grand reunion!

Vinita Kinra has been featured among 150 most remarkable Canadians by Canadian Race Relations Foundation. She is a Toronto-based author, editor, speaker and activist, best known for her short story collection, Pavitra in Paris, launched to critical acclaim in 2013. She is also a contributor for India’s largest English daily, The Times of India.

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